Info Zone - Stella's Birthstory

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*** Stella Anne ***
Goldstein de Salazar

Born: 3/9/96 at 6:36 PM PST

by Carrie Salazar & Karl Goldstein

Name: Stella Anne Goldstein de Salazar
Parents: Carrie Salazar & Karl Goldstein
Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz
Length: 19 1/2"
Head 13 3/4"
Chest: 13"

(Carrie wrote this and I interspersed some comments here and there -Karl)

March 08, 1996 7:00 AM: I woke up with the realization that the reason I had been sleeping so fitfully the last hour was because I was having menstrual cramps--an old friend I haven't seen in at least 9 months! I wasn't sure if these sensations were labor pains. I wasn't due for another week and I had convinced myself that Stella would be born a few days after my due date. The cramps were coming every 10 minutes or so, and lasting about 25 - 35 seconds. I told Karl that I might be in labor so we shifted our work plans for the day to stay close to home. I spent the morning packing my hospital bag and cleaning up. As the cramps started getting stronger and I became convinced I actually was in labor, we walked to the store to get some snacks for Karl. The cramps were fairly painful by the afternoon and were radiating from my lower back to front. With some effort I could still talk through the contractions and felt perfectly fine between them. Oddly, the contractions stopped for one hour after a night stroll to speed up the labor and we joked that this may be a whole week process. Nope. They started up again around 10 PM and were 5 minutes apart/45 seconds long. Karl called Kaiser Labor and Delivery. The nurse told him to wait until the contractions were a little longer since they would not admit me until my cervix was at least 3 centimeters.

March 09, 1996 2:00 AM: I woke up Karl because the pains were getting intolerable. I had spent most of the night in a hot bath because I could not sleep. The contractions were still only 45 seconds long and varied from 4 to 8 minutes apart. Karl called Labor and Delivery and the nurse still sounded skeptical that I was "ready" but we took off for the hospital anyway. Once at the hospital we had to wait 1.5 hours to see the doctor. Apparently it was an unusually busy night in Labor and Delivery (the security guard asked me if it was a full moon). I was strapped to a fetal monitor and made to lie down. By this time the contractions were 3 minutes apart and I could not tolerate laying down so I ignored the nurses and sat up. The doctor was a tired young Chinese resident who looked about 10 years younger than me. She used a little buzzer to wake Stella in utero as she checked the fetal monitor and then my cervix. She announced that I was "only" 3 centimeters dilated (after 22 hours of labor!) and she would not admit me into the hospital until I was 4 centimeters. (I guess the "3 centimeter" admit rule gets overturned on a busy night). The doctor kept saying "I'm sorry" about not be able to admit me. I forgave her, but said I desperately needed to sleep. The nurse put a shot of some morphine mixture in my butt with the warning that it might slow or stop early labor. We got home around 6 AM and I actually was able to sleep for 2 hours.

March 09, 1996 10 AM: I had been laying in a hot tub for 2hours enduring very strong contractions. The pain killer did not last long and did not slow down the labor. I still could function between contractions but was not able totalk or walk during the pain. We decided to try the hospital again.

(Karl: the minute Carrie got into the exam room she pronounced her urgent need to vomit. The nurses weren't fast enough with the basin, so I had to run to the bathroom to get paper towels and sort of catch the orange juice I had given Carrie an hour earlier. It was actually exciting to see her vomit, because it seemed like a sign that things were really happening. The couple across the curtain from us were at 2 cm, and were still in the jovial phase of labor, before the serious contractions began. After Carrie hurled they stopped laughing.)

I threw up and the nurse said this probably meant I was at 5 cm. A different two-year resident (who I remember less about than the first one even though she delivered Stella) pronounced that I was 5 centimeters (the nurse was right!) so I was wheeled into to my Labor and Delivery room! Kaiser actually has very nice L&D rooms: clean and spacious with a nice bathroom and shower (that I never got to use). I was strapped to another fetal monitor and IV drip by 12:00 PM, then the real fun began.

(Karl: Well, that's when the real drag began. The resident actually said she 'would be right in' to break Carrie's waters, but didn't show up for a few hours. In between a nurse came and checked on Carrie a couple of times, but that was it. And Carrie wasn't in the mood to do all those things they show in the videos in birth class, like walking around, having me hold her up standing during her contractions, take showers, etc. She didn't seem willing to move from the bed.)

2 PM: The nurse told us since I had only progressed one centimeter in 2 hours that she was going to get the doctor to 'break my waters'. A few minutes later the young doctor came in telling us she was about to administer pitocin on me to speed up the labor. Karl had to remind her that it was a "break the water" procedure not a pitocen injection! I think Karl was skeptical from now on.

After my water was broken things moved so quickly that they had no time to give me an epidural (I had planned on having one if the pain was really as bad as mothers told me it was--they were right). I went into what is called the 'transition phase', which in other words is the 'excruciating pain phase'. I have never felt such agony in all my life. I was moaning for pain killers but all I can remember Karl telling me it was too late. For the next two hours I would go through waves of pain and would go temporarily comatose in between contractions from exhaustion. I vaguely remember hearing Karl tell me "think of Stella" over and over.

4:30 PM: The nurse told us that I was at 10 cm and could push. I never felt the proverbial "urge to push" but found it the only thing that would stop the contraction pain. The problem was that I was completely exhausted at this point and pushing took every ounce of energy I had left. The nurse made me lie on my back, (which at the time didn't make much sense). After about an hour the nurse thought we should try a different position and pulled out a 'pull up bar' that she said she had forgotten about.

(Karl: At first it seemed that Stella was going to come quite fast. With each push the nurse said she was a bit farther down, and after only a dozen pushes or so I could see a silver dollar sized piece of her head a couple inches up the vagina. But then she slowed almost to a halt, her head seemingly having difficulty getting under the pubic bone. Carrie was on her back most of the time, in a reclining sitting position. The nurse had her squat a little, but she didn't want to put her in any other positions and after a while didn't even want to have her squat anymore, because she was afraid Stella would fall out on the floor on her. At some point she remembered the squatting bar, but it was too late at that point for experimentation. Stella's heart rate was already becoming variable with the contractions. Altogether too many things getting forgotten in this story.

I was thoroughly in awe of Carrie during transition and pushing stages. With her cheeks flushed, her hair thick and tangled, and a wild distant look in her eyes, she exuded a raw, primordial beauty. She had no connection to the hospital, the wires and syringes and all that. She could have fit in with any clan in any cave or jungle anywhere in the last 100,000 years.)

6:15 PM: The nurse called for the doctor although Stella had not crowned yet. Apparently her heart rate had been dropping with each contraction. Suddenly there was half a dozen people in the room: a couple of nurses, the hospital pediatrician, an attending physician, the resident...I am not sure who else. The resident doctor said she was using a vacuum extractor to help pull Stella out. Karl got the full view of the procedure, which he said looked fairly brutal. I had one final push and at 6:36 PM the doctor lifted Stella and all the pain was suddenly gone. Karl quickly cut the cord and they whisked Stella to the warming table where several doctors and nurses examined her. I asked if she was OK and didn't get an answer. Then I asked "what are her apgar scores?" and someone answered "9/9". Relief. Stella cried a little, but stopped when they placed her skin to skin on my chest. At that moment I wanted to protect her from the world.

I saw in Karl that the last hours were tense -- the bumbling staff, the inability to push Stella out, her heartrate drop --. I had no idea how serious the situation was, I was just concentrating on pain and pushing. It turns out she had come out with her fist on her cheek like she was thinking, which made it hard for her to be pushed out. I had to have a small episiotomy because of the vacuum extraction but it hasn't proved to be an awful thing, or else I heal very quickly. After I was stitched up I felt well enough to hop out of the bed and go to the bathroom, but the nurse stopped me.

(Karl: Carrie wasn't aware of the commotion as much as I was, and by the time it was all over and Stella was on her mom's breast I just broke down sobbing, overwhelmed by this creation and by the fact something could have happened to her. Welcome to parenthood I suppose.)

March 10 12 PM: We were released from the hospital after a restless night. I couldn't believe they let me take her home...I don't know how to take care of a baby much less an infant! Fortunately Karl has more mothering extincts that I do. Still she lost a lot of weight and a Kaiser nurse visited us every day to weigh her. Stella dropped from 6 lbs 14 ounces to 6 lbs 2 ounces. I was petrified and felt like I had inadequate colostrum. Stella is a sleepy and content baby and rarely is bothered enough to get me to feed her or have Karl change her. Sue helped us alter the idea of "feed on demand" to "demand on feed". In other words I have to make myself wake up every 2.5 to 3 hours to rouse Stella and feed her.

March 15: Stella is gaining weight. She weighs 6 lbs 5.5 ounces. I spend most my days just staring at her. She is absolutely perfect.

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